A Post Where I Get In Touch With My Sentiments About Starbucks
By Beth in Uncategorized, stereotype, Corporate, Starbucks, Madonna on April 14 2007
I hate Starbucks. (Click on this link’s “Small, Medium, Large” toon to watch a brilliant satire on Starschmucks) I don’t drink their coffee. It’s too bitter, too burnt, too unkind. I often get lumped in with the Dunkin Donuts coffee drinkers at those annoying networking get togethers where the world is insultingly and coursely divided into DD vs. Starbucks people. Truth be told I don’t much fancy the double DDs either. Give me a good ol’ cup of generic diner coffee any day.
Starbucks ambiance gets me too. Everyone sitting at a table is trying to look so studious and disengaged from everyone and everything going on around them and yet they are all bound together by that recycled white paper cup and a feeling of mild superiority at not being at the adjacent Dunkin Donuts or the alterna-coffee bar across the street whose patrons would have equally heightened airs just more piercings and tattoos. Don’t even get me started on those people.
I’ve come a few time in the past week to this Starbucks, mostly because I’m lazy and it’s easy and I know I can get internet access. It’s around the corner from my work and a change of scenery from the public library. I really do like the library but feared my presence with laptop was too distracting for people there. re: I used to wake up all the bums when my cell phone would accidentally ring. I felt bad about this, but contrastingly was always a bit put out when one of them would be occupying an entire table and give me a look of “Don’t you dare think of sitting here.” Why does one person need with four seats?
I guess the above scenario makes Starbucks look not so bad. You can always find a table and most likely there’s always people to gawk at (like the two gay men who were on a “date” only one had a wedding ring on and the other didn’t and they didn’t act “married”) if you can manage to squeeze past the 30 yuppie adults and children waiting in line to get to a table.
Explain to me what business a 5-year-old has with a mocha frapamijiggy. Aren’t we always trying to calm them down at that age? And isn’t it a mild form of child abuse, at the very least ushering in the early onset of obesity? But then I look at the Bratz girl attached to the whining and her adult version Bratz mom and I don’t care much either way. Wasn’t it Madonna who proclaimed, “Cause I’m living in a material world and I’m a material whiny Brat?
Yeah, something like that…
