Female TV Characters Need To Stop Their Kvetching Already

I used to watch Grey’s Anatomy and it would always leave me with that feeling akin to the after-effects of eating Chinese food. I couldn’t get enough of it, yet it always left me feeling empty and with achy, shallow pit in my stomach.

Upon reading Alessandra Stanley’s piece on women in TV I know I am not alone in my sentiment, but I question when the transition happened when professionally successful women on TV became hapless neurotic balls of emotional insecurity. When did we become such a captive audience to their self-absorption? And furthermore, why do any of us care about these characters?

I used to know a woman who was in love with Grey’s Anatomy. I imagine in the 90s she was the type that jumped on the “Ally McBeal” bandwagon too because she could identify with such a woman (she loved to talk about herself) and presently, she’s evolved into “Desperate Housewife” because it reflects the current period of her life. In each of these scenarios, she’s molding herself to the status quo pop culture-wise as portrayed on TV. Whatever is socially acceptable and moreover desirable for women becomes de rigeur.

I imagine a lot of women think this way. In the same way I used to watch my former female roommates moon over “Sex & The City” and SJP’s fashion choices. The women on these shows take on iconesque proportions for the average woman. And as affable as the “Ugly Betty” mode of woman might be (and as much as Golden Globe critics can shove her down our throats), she’s not the type of woman that’s sweeping American women off their feet. Her love life/fashion choices are the not water cooler talk on Friday morning.

So what’s the appeal with this type of rather unlikeable woman? In part, women don’t envy the plain, happy girl. They model themselves after the photogenically enhanced self-absorbed bitch. Why? Because she holds more power in that she commands more positive attention from her male co-workers and from the world, in general.

There’s something alluring about watching someone else’s life hang in the balance (especially if she’s pretty), witnessing them at their most vulnerable, and the power we attain from our front row view. It gives us reassurance that maybe our lives aren’t as pitiable or maybe they are, but if our feeble, flawed heroine Meredith can cry at the end of each episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” and Meredith’s gal pal, the formidable ice queen Sandra Oh can shed a tear from time to time, maybe we can break a little too. And on a superficial level, the average American woman will resonate with this message and it’s not entirely harmful one.

It’s important to provide entertainment that mirrors reality for women, but I’d also argue that there’s more value in watching films like “Volver” and seeing images of strong, capable, flawed women who also own their flaws and their insecurities and move on.