The Science Of Stereotype

There is a new book out called The Enlightened Bracketologist: The Final Four of Everything. It’s co-written by a sports journalist and a literary agent. The former makes sense since Bracketology, a method for sports fans to keep track of which teams they are betting on to win, is traditionally associated with basketball, March Madness, and determining which collegiate teams will make it into the NCAA Finals.

Authors Mark Reiter and Richard Sandomir were recently interviewed on “The Today Show” where they talked about applying their Final 4 methodology to pop culture and most specifically illustrated one of the studies from their book in which they determined which bald-headed figure in modern culture was the most popular. No, it was not Homer Simpson, but he was a finalist. Other studies found in the book include “A Jew/Not A Jew” and “Women’s Magazines Sex Cliches.” If you’re shaking your head about now, you get where I’m coming from with my frustration with this ridiculous study.

Wait, there guys were actually paid to write this book and are collecting phat royalties off it?

Ok, so maybe I’m just jealous that these guys thought of a clever way to pitch their bogus, fun-filled project to a major publishing house and get paid a wad of cash to indulge their fancy. It’s conceivable. But I’m also concerned about the consequences that such ideas bring forth into the world. Why must we reinforce the idea that people need to be sized up and classified on the basis of superficial criteria? Who and what determines that criteria? Why judge people at all on the basis of some artificial construct?
While you can claim I’m rushing to serious accusation here, insidious as it might sound, such manufactured ideas have a way of seeping into the underbelly of our day-to-day conscious decision making. While in fact schema are necessary to function in everyday life (yes, I took my Psychology back in college) as they help us digest the world around us without sensory overload, they have a way of causing frequent errors in our judgment.

There was a line last night in “Reign Over Me” I held close to my heart. It was said by Don Cheadle’s character to his daughter when she called to her father (something along the lines of), “Your friend is here. The one that acts younger than JoJo.” Perhaps it wasn’t so much Cheadle’s words but the manner he affected when he retorted, “Don’t do that. Don’t judge him like that. It’s not kind.”

So shoot me. I’ll opt for a bit of kindness and a little understanding over shiteology any day of the week.

TV’s Oldest Spot

Judging by its format, it seems as if the good folk over at CBS “Sunday Morning” are still quite surprised that TV is now in  color. Let alone not funded by state-run Socialist programming. However because of my wife’s compulsion to watch the show every week, I was forced to watch it and now find myself actually enjoying the segments. It’s like a TV blog and fo those of you who are early Sunday morning birds (as we are) I urge you to watch.

Rich People Don’t Defecate Like The Rest Of Us

Toilets have been on my mind a lot lately. Last week, I temped a job at Harvard University and noticed that the toilet had two levers for the flush, one for the big jobs and the other for smaller, more discreet ones. Unfortunately, I flushed multiple times defeating its purpose because I had no idea what the symbols actually meant. I had seen this type of contraption in Israel (where water is scarce), but never before in the U.S. so I made note of it.

Then the other night, I heard Jay Leno poke fun at the use of compost toilets, the energy-saving, environmentally green alternative to toilet paper. And suddenly these toilets are turning up everywhere. There’s even an entire site dedicated to it. Yesterday, as I waited 2.5 hours at the DMV to renew my driver’s license, I then read an article about celebrities practicing green living solutions (Earth Day is next month already after all). About the time I read about Pierce Brosnan and his wife owning one of these composters, I thought back to Leno’s apropos joke about a hose and a hair dryer being equally as effective as one of these $1600 machines. Moreover, can’t celebrities afford to hire people to wipe their own asses?

But the point is not the cost or the energy-conscious turn we’ve all taken since learning that world is going to melt into oblivion and Al Gore and his posse won’t be around to save us. It’s like those Chanel sunglasses or Fendi bags that women die to get originals of and eventually succumb to fake imposters. Simply put, disposing of our feces in environmentally conscious terms is now du jour. And that catch phrase that previously served as a social equalizer of sorts: Everyone’s shit smells the same. Well, it just doesn’t apply anymore because we’ve been irrigated before any stench could set in.

No one likes to talk about this kinda stuff. Frankly put (no pun intended) it stinks. But so does the self-righteous, moral high horse nonsense that goes along with those that use it. If I choose to write with the lights off in my apartment and let the natural light filter in (which happens more often that I like to admit), it’s not because I’m making a conscious decision to preserve energy. It’s cause I’m too lazy to put on a light. When I called my landlord to complain about heat being too high in the Winter it wasn’t because I was practicing an energy-saving practice, it was because I was burning up in there. Similarly, if I choose to buy crappy toilet paper, it’s cause it’s on sale and I can afford it.

Compost toilets feel elitist to me. Of course the high expenditure of the product lends itself to a certain yuppie demographic that plasters itself at will on the Sunday New York Times Home & Garden section in the hopes that all this plugging their proactive energy conscious lifestyles will later pan out when little Isabella (now 2) is on the waiting list at New York’s prestigious Dalton School.

As Mel Brooks would say, “It’s all bupkis.” And I know in the end, it is. It’s the whole stinking ride that gets to me sometimes though.

Seriously, Girls?

Wake me up when women aren’t assessed first and foremost for their outward appearance. I caught a clip of “Regis & Kelly” while watching the late night news. The pregnant-by-Tom Brady (it’s so trendy, there’s a whole genre of them now) actress Bridget Moynahan had been interviewed that morning on the talk show and was bragging about how she could still fit into her favorite pair of jeans even after X months of being pregnant. She was there to plug that awful ABC melodrama she’s on that’s been renewed after ratings fell so low this Fall that they were forced to go on hiatus. Will ABC ever be able to repay the debt of shelving “Twin Peaks” after only one season?

Back to Moynahan and her pregnancy glow. I couldn’t help but be concerned that I didn’t even know why the actress was on the show since all the only thing being discussed in the short clip provided by the news station was how beautiful she was. Of course, the news anchors smiling with their vaseline coated teeth was distracting as well, but then, they too were gushing with pride about Bridget’s appearance. Local hometown girl pride aside (Bridget was born in Western, MA), even I felt a bit like gagging.

And then I read this piece produced by the IJWC (International Jewish Women’s Council) about putting a stop to low female self-esteem and how young girls have such idealized notions of beauty that low self esteem is inevitable. The jargon is nothing new, mind you. It was simply ironic that I came across the piece just after the Brady-Moynahan gag reflex set in. And because seeing a picture these days of Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Ritchie, or Paris Hilton for that matter, doesn’t exactly equate with “idealized.” More like, run from stardom/”fake beauty” as fast as you can so that you never end up like them. If anything then, the paparazzi has helped bring these stars down to a level that not only humanizes them, but actually makes them less appealing.

I’m not encouraging the paparazzi to stalk stars. Simply stating that the need to celebrate Dove’s Real Beauty campaign, as ICJW is doing, is just as superficial in its own way. It’s simply emulating a different cult of beauty and one that falls more in line with the women who promote it. We shouldn’t have to look to beauty campaigns to find “real” beauty.

Spring Fever Pitch

A Boston area furniture chain, found an interesting way to fight the competition. You will get the money you paid for the furniture back, if the beloved but unlucky at times Boston Red Sox will be champions. Here are the details from the site: Consumers purchasing a mattress, dining table, sofa, or bed at a Jordan’s store location between March 7, 2007 and April 16, 2007 will receive a rebate of the purchase price paid for the Deal Merchandise if (but only if) the Boston Red Sox® win the 2007 Major League Baseball World Series®.
The Sox recently purchased the Japanese idol pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka, also known in Japan as Kaibutsu (monster), in an attempt to improve their chances this year.

And I thought that it’s enough  just  to beat the Yankees…

Geico Cavemen Reign Over Primetime?

The Geico Cavemen as urbane sophisticate is the commercial hit of the year. Jewcy’s Meryl Yourish blogged about their appeal in a post back in July of last year and I’ve been holding back the laughs for a while now, but more as a reaction to my sense of humor falling short with the cavemen’s subtle laugh riot approach. Honestly, they aren’t that funny to me. But it would seem I’m definitely in the minority here and since prime time TV favors majority, my two cents ain’t worth a whole lot.Ok, so the cavemen are preferable to the Geico Gecko of yesteryear, but do they outperform the “Celebrity as Translator” campaign with Little Richard? I think not. Then again, the end product being does anyone even know what Geico sells anyways?

I saw recently on an episode of “CBS Sunday Morning” that the two Geico campaigns that I mentioned above are running simultaenously. The reason being that each favors a gender with the translator clips appealing to women more and the cavemen commericials appealing to men. So this would also help explain why I’m not particularly fond of the cavemen.

But clips and gender aside, ABC has already leased the cavemen and produced a pilot with three cavemen living in modern day Atlanta. And as Slate’s Seth Stevenson explains, it might just succeed:

First, let’s remind ourselves that super-high-concept sitcoms are nothing new. Third Rock From the Sun = “We’re aliens and we can’t tell anyone.” Small Wonder = “Our daughter is a robot.” These shows achieved relative success, so who’s to say “We’re cultivated cavemen” can’t do the same?There’s even precedent for advertising icons succeeding on other platforms. The news stories about the cavemen’s pilot all mention Baby Bob—the one-time dot-com spokesbaby who later had his own sitcom (and later still got back into ads). A friend also reminded me that Ernest, Jim Varney’s redneck caricature (”KnowhutImean, Vern?”) began as a pitchman before landing a kids’ TV show (and then a string of hallucinogenically plotted films—see e.g., 1997’s Ernest Goes to Africa).

Adam Sandler’s New Gig?

Dave Letterman unexpectedly took ill and needed a last-minute replacement on Tuesday’s “Late Show” so CBS called upon scheduled guest Adam Sandler, there to plug his new movie “Reign Over Me.” Sandler was pretty funny (though he would disagree) and hands-down was much more capable late night host than either Jimmy Kimmel or Carson Daly. Anyways, Sandler interviewed his dog, Matzo Ball (see clip here) as well as “Reign Over Me” co-star Don Cheadle and race car driver Danica Patrick. Clearly, the night’s star was Matzoball, but we think Adam Sandler did a pretty top notch job as well.

Opening This Week, And A Sneak Peek

 

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So I’m Loving AOL, So Shoot Me!

By ariel in Uncategorized, Blog, Tech, AOL, Virus Protection on March 21 2007

 

First, a Disclaimer: I do not work, nor am I getting paid by AOL. I wish I would have, but I’m not.

Having said that, I find myself amazed by the services they have to offer. Only a few days ago I wrote about their AIM Phoneline, and today I found out they also offer a free Virus Protection. To get all these services you have to have an AOL account, and you are all set.

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TV Follow Up # 2

By ariel in Uncategorized, Heroes, Entertainment, NBC, Blog on March 21 2007

 

I was wrong, and I guess not for the last time in my life. A couple of weeks back, I wrote about the NBC show “Heroes” and complained about the second season. Well, sorry Tony, you were right of course. Anyway, Tim Kring, creator of the show revealed to SCI FI Wire first-season finale will comprise the last three episodes of the year, will bring all of the main characters together in New York—and will ultimately result in the death of one or more heroes. The last new episodes of the season will air on April 23.

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The Player? Yeh Right…

By ariel in Uncategorized, Amaldo' Home, Entertainment, comedy, Dancing With The Stars on March 20 2007

 

 Last night everybody was watching this Dancing with the stars thing. I decided I want to be different. And while everybody else was eager to know weather Heather Mills’s leg will fall or not, I was watching Rules of Engagement. Without going to far, I can definitely say it is one of the worst TV shows ever. Shallow, Dumb, not funny, nothing. Oh and David Spade. Now this is something I just can’t get, how come David Spade is so successful? He is everywhere. I have no complaint to him. he needs to work, so he takes what he gets, but lets face it, he is Not talented. He is a Martin Short wannabe without the acting skills, and still, he works. Well dear Producers with a lot of money to spend, You use this dude, the result is this mockery of a TV show.

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Will Lack Of NFL Star Mojo Bring Dancing With The Stars To A Jolted Jive?

By Beth in Uncategorized, NBC, comedy, ABC, Dancing With The Stars on March 19 2007

The answer to the question in the title is “Gee I hope not, but if so, then twice the fun of snarking for your reading pleasure.” Which is what I plan to do, once this season of “Dancing With The Stars” premieres tonite on ABC. Already, I’m scoffing a bit at contestant Heather Mills (Paul McCartney’s ex who was unjustifiably forced to drive a PT Cruiser against her will) comment about her handicap, “You can do anything with a prosthetic leg.” Hmmm….Define “anything,” Heather. Then there’s Cliff from “Cheers” with his insightful, “When I was on ‘Cheers,’ no one ever came up to me and told me how to deliver the mail.” Last I checked in my NBC comedy memory vault, Cliff didn’t do too much paper pushing. He just sat around the bar cracking jokes with Norm all day.

Which brings me to the point of this post. I’m looking forward to doing more TV reviews. I have a ton of experience, specifically with this show. I even wrote a book on that other reality show that no one ever watches anymore, but most still find plenty in the way of hairpieces to poke fun at.

So bring on the snipe. Cause I’m armed (only with chocolate, I promise!), dangerous (only if you really, really annoy me), and moreover, well-rehearsed (see brief promotional overview of self-referential online experience in the above paragraph).

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A Video Montage Of The Dehabilitating Effects Of Hollywood On Young Child Actors

By Beth in Uncategorized, Hollywood, Young Child Stars on March 19 2007

Remember when Kirsten Dunst was young and innocent, freshly plucked off that “Interview With A Vampire” set? Yeah, not so much anymore.

Video courtesy TMZ.

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Where Is My John Wayne?

By ariel in Uncategorized, Entertainment, News, Movies on March 19 2007

For some reason, people just don’t seem to get enough of sward fights and computer animation, cause the number one spot at the box office for a second week in a row, belongs to  ”300“. the movie made $127.5 million so far, with $31.2 this weekend. On the second spot we find “Wild Hogs,” with $18.8 million, and on the third, “Premonition,” with $18 million. Other movies that made it to the list are: “I think I love my wife“,  “Bridge to Terabithia“, and “Music and Lyrics“.

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